In the Grip- Stress and the MBTI

Occasionally when I am giving a Myers-Briggs feedback session, a person will say, "yes that sounds like me most of the time, but not EVERY time." When I ask for an example, most responses include a story about when things were very stressful, and the individual reacted "out of character" for him/her.

That is when I talk about the "In the Grip" experience. "In the Grip" is the MBTI term for experiencing stress. Personality is very complex, and no one acts in a predicted way in every circumstance (thank goodness!). When we are "in the grip" we act in a way that is contrary to our dominant personality.

Put in simple terms, we unconsciously act oppositely of what we usually would. To give myself as an example, because I am an ISTJ when I am under extreme stress I behave like an Extroverted Intuitive.

Every individual has a different stressors, tolerance level, and reaction to stress. Understanding your type can help you better prepare for those situations and help you be more aware of how you are responding to stress.

As a result of studying my personality type, stressors, and stress reactions, I am much more aware of when I am slipping into an "in the grip" experience. The one thing that triggers stress for me, more than anything else, is the unknown. Traveling to new locations, starting a new job, moving into a new residence- these are things that MOST people find stressful, but even smaller moments of the unknown can trigger the same stress. For example, driving on an unknown road, going to a new doctor, and joining a new social group can create stress for an ISTJ. ANYTHING unknown triggers my stress.

There are a few ways I tend to react to stress. One is by OVER-exaggerating my Sensing function or catastrophizing.

For example, I overuse my Sensing function to PLAN for everything I can think of as it relates to this unknown event. If the unknown is a travel experience, I make list after list after list related to my needs for the trip including my "To do's," "To buy's" and "To bring's." I write down and research everything I can about the location or event. I seek out experiences from others as a way to substitute for my own experience. I believe, in my mind, that in taking all of these actions I am calming myself down by being as prepared as possible. However, I am only exacerbating the problem. I am not using my sensing function as a strength, but rather in a very ineffective way. The only way I can take myself out of this experience is by "hitting rock bottom." It is as if I have to literally imagine every possible outcome and plan for it before I can relax. Now that I understand that this obsessive outcome planning is part of a stress reaction, I can now stop the process early and remind myself that I am capable of handling any possible unknown event, just as I have in the past. In other words, I use the data (sensing function) of past experience to remind myself that I can handle any of the unknown.

Another stress reaction I experience is catastrophizing. For example, if my significant other has not returned home by a reasonably expectable time, I tend to imagine that a "worst case scenario" has occurred. If I call and he does not answer, I assume he was driving home and he was in an accident. In addition, for someone who prefers sensing, I am able to imagine the worst case scenario in UNBELIEVABLE detail. I will assume that he hit a deer (because it is deer season), and the deer went through the windshield. Also, I will imagine that he probably in a ditch where no one can see the car, which is why I haven't been notified by the police. Next, I begin to imagine the next steps (again, in great detail). I imagine how awful when it will be the cops come to the door to tell me what has happened. I start to worry about how I will take care of our dogs by myself, how I will pay my bills, and what my daily life will be like without him.

This is a typical reaction from an ISTJ under large amounts of stress. What makes the situation worse is that an ISTJ will also be able to recognize that this thinking is, for lack of a better word, crazy! An ISTJ will then begin to feel guilty about the level of detail that he or she was able to imagine this awful scenario, and wonder if there is something wrong with him or her. This typically starts the whole process over again. At some point, I come to my senses and remember this is a very typical reaction to stress for an ISTJ.

These are just a few examples of how one might experience being "in the grip." It is important to be more aware of yourself and how you respond to stress so that you can learn ways to cope. For more information on your "In the Grip" style, check out these books written by Naomi Quenk.


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